Heels On The Shells

Last week, my friend Mary had gone to her boyfriend to inquire about what was next. The guy had gone missing for a whole week. Imagine how many days a week has...7 days if I'm not mistaken.

Her boyfriend is my boyfriend's best friend and that's how we got to know each other. They literally "hide" each other like it were some hobby. You know the boys' club manners, characteristics, and behaviors, right? I've heard them refer to different women as Mama and whenever caught, they'd give flimsy excuses

I find him already seated at our usual table with some drinks. I take a seat too and his stares already speak volumes. "I'm not going to spare this son of a man this time around. I deserve the truth," I say to myself. Without even saying a word, he says he's working on himself and that he'll be better soon. Better for who, another woman? He's always been getting better. I tell him that we've had enough of the work and I'm already exhausted. At this point, he goes into a deep moment of silence.

I continue by telling him how much I have really tried and he bursts out saying that I have never understood him. I've always been on his neck and that really breaks me. It reminds me of how my thirst to find solutions has always turned ugly

At this moment, my thoughts and sympathy goes to other people who're in the same position. Men and women at equal measure. A position of trying to find a solution but the blame always turns back on us. I'm saddened by the thought of just how much we are literally walking on eggshells you know. You can't express the real you, how you feel, how you think, or how you wish
 
It's all about how they feel than how someone else does. Things happen but we never bother to take into consideration how those who live us feel. As long as we can get away with it, we do it. But what about our partners We are so self-centered, selfish. It's not about selflessness anymore. We care about the societal thoughts and views more than we care for ourselves or friends or neighbors or partners

If you still believe in ethics then lost you, people will laugh at and make fun of you because they think you are so naive. We are more like living for other things than for ourselves. We are chasing at something that we can't reach but we are still chasing anyway

We live by the rules set and foundations made by society. But how about we grow our own roots. Words don't make sense anymore. We live life by what we see happening around us not what's right because really, do we deserve this kind of pain? Pain so deep while they still go around having the best of their moments?

I wash my hands at this point.