The Red Dot Of Shame

Standard three was awesome. We were young and naive. Played almost every game and reported everything to the class teacher but on this specific day, it was a different case. It was during break time and almost everyone in lower primary had gathered behind grade two-room. One of my twins' classmates was being harassed by the boys who kept on pulling down the sweater she was tying up around her waist. She was holding on to it so tightly but the boys never gave up. Some were running back to class to go check her desk. Her sister on the other hand was pulling her away from the crowd so she could take her home. At one point, she gave up and let the sweater drop down to the ground and almost every pupil felt disgusted while others laughed.

At my second primary school, this girl had soiled her dress which was a checked green and white. Only a few of us were aware of what was going on until the maths teacher had forcefully made her go do a  presentation on the chalkboard.

She pleaded with the teacher to pass the question to her deskmate but he genuinely declined. He frog matched her to the front with strokes of canes and forced her to untie the sweater from her waist. The boys scolded her with laughs, calling her a woman. The whole experience changed her life as her self-esteem was buried in class on that day, at that moment.

Not only back then was getting periods or growing breasts while in primary associated with "knowing too much" (becoming sexually active ) but also in the modern world. My people upcountry still struggle with understanding and judging a girl from her physical appearance because they tend to believe that some things like periods are only for women or girls in secondary schools.

My sister had these pink mini packets that were inside a medium-sized blue packet with bold writings as Always. I was still in lower primary so every time everyone was out of our bedroom, I would put her bag on the bed and admire how beautifully wrapped they were. Every time I asked her what they were, she could insist that they are slices of bread, only to be eaten by adults. Okay, slices of bread! Well, to me they remained slices of bread for very many months even though I wondered why they were never brought to the table even when we had no bittings for breakfast. It was until my first date with the flow that I came to know the whole truth. 

While my people are still stuck with the same ideologies about menstruation and body changes, I write this piece specifically for them to know about hormones and how they affect people differently just so they can stop the emotional abuse towards the girls and the wrong labeling. It's through hormones and the type of food consumed that one girl can experience her periods at grade three or campus level. Early or late, our bodies respond differently. The same applies to body changes. 

I know of ladies who when rolling, experience sharp pains that see them being admitted at the hospital while others just experience a smooth ride. Seek medication when it's either too painful, having a weird color, heavy clots, heavy flow, more than one cycle in a month, or if they don't appear regularly so the gynecologist can tell you where the problem could be. None of the above is normal when it comes to menstruation and your health. I used to experience serious cramps until the moment I switched to menstrual cups and then the pain eased. I would advise that you try different menstrual towel types and settle for the one that makes you feel more comfortable 

That strawberry flow makes every woman feel restless and in discomfort. It's never something we gladly receive as we are afraid of getting messed up. We can not just put on that baby girl dress that makes us feel beautiful. We get moody and some even go sugarless to avoid excessive pains. Despite the crazy pains that they come with, periods are beautiful. Just bring us chocolates, warm water, and flowers during the three to seven days of rolling. We shall overcome soon.